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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25092745">you be the ruse and I'll be the caper</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hirikka/pseuds/Hirikka'>Hirikka</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Insecure Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, M/M, Past Jaskier | Dandelion/Valdo Marx, Protective Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, past abusive relationships</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 05:21:15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>783</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25092745</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hirikka/pseuds/Hirikka</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Geralt meets a stranger at a bar who needs his help.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>436</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>you be the ruse and I'll be the caper</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Hey, uh, excuse me?” </p><p>There’s a hand on Geralt’s arm. He turns to see a man—probably close to his own age—with floppy brown hair and piercing blue eyes. </p><p>“What are you doing?” Geralt asks, hearing his own voice come out significantly more aggressive than he intended.</p><p>“Oh, well. I need your help.” The man’s eyes are wide, but he doesn’t seem <em> afraid </em> of Geralt. It's unusual enough that he doesn’t shake the man’s hand off. </p><p>“With what?” Geralt asks.</p><p>“Uh, there’s a guy over there. My ex”—the man winces and then tilts his head slightly to the left, keeping his gaze fixed on Geralt—“who is being <em> extremely </em>aggressive and won’t take no for an answer. I was, uh, hoping you would pretend that I was with you? I’m Jaskier, by the way.”</p><p>“Hm.” Geralt pauses, taking a moment to process the flurry of words. He’s about to agree when Jaskier presses closer and moves his hand to Geralt’s upper arm. </p><p>“My god,” Jaskier gasps, “where are you getting your juice?”</p><p>Geralt frowns, more confused than ever. “My roommate does all of the grocery shopping?” He doesn't mean for it to sound like a question, but he cannot figure out what is happening. </p><p>“What? I—Oh, never mind. Will you help me?” </p><p>“Hm.” Geralt is half convinced that this man is deranged, so he’s not at all sure he wants to agree to help.</p><p>“Oh, Julian.” </p><p>At the voice, Jaskier crowds closer to Geralt.</p><p>“There you are.” The man emerging from the crowd instantly sets off warning bells in Geralt’s head. He looks fairly unassuming, but he moves like a predator. “I was wondering where you had run off to.”</p><p>“I told you,” Jaskier says, voice absent of all the warmth it had held when he had spoken to Geralt, “I was going to meet up with my boyfriend.”</p><p>The man’s gaze flicks to Geralt, his eyes widening as he takes in the other man. Geralt grins with a few too many teeth, and he smells a spike of fear in the other man’s scent.</p><p>“Really, Julian?” The man tries to cover his reaction. “You expect me to believe this is your boyfriend?”</p><p>Jaskier opens his mouth to respond, but Geralt curls an arm around his waist, pulling him impossibly closer. Ignoring the other man completely, he focuses on Jaskier, leaning in to whisper in his ear, “Let me know how you want to play this.”</p><p>Jaskier smiles brightly up at him then casts a cool look at the other man. “I don’t really care what you believe, Valdo.” He lets Valdo sputter for a minute before turning back to Geralt. “Would you like to dance, love?”</p><p>Geralt almost falters at the way that Jaskier uses the term of endearment so easily, but he can smell Valdo’s anger, so he plays along. “Anything you want, Buttercup.”</p><p>Jaskier muffles a snort into Geralt’s shoulder; he feels warmed as he senses Jaskier’s tension ease. He adjusts his grip on Jaskier’s waist, pulling him away from Valdo and out onto the dance floor.</p><p>“I’m not… really a good dancer,” he admits, voice just loud enough to be heard over the music.</p><p>Jaskier wraps his arms around Geralt’s neck. “No complaints so far.” </p><p>Geralt spins them around so he can see Valdo, who’s glowering in their direction. Geralt stares at him until he flinches, looks away, and then makes his way out of the bar.</p><p>“Your ex is gone,” Geralt tells Jaskier, bracing for Jaskier to leave. It has been longer than Geralt likes to admit since he had spent time with anyone—other than Yennefer—who wasn’t at least a little bit afraid of him. </p><p>Jaskier hums in response, but doesn’t pull away. </p><p>They dance for a while longer, until it grows late enough that it should probably be called early, and Jaskier is clearly starting to droop with weariness. </p><p>“C’mon, you should get home,” Geralt says. He takes Jaskier’s hand and leads him towards the door.</p><p>“Mm,” Jaskier is still half plastered against him. “Gimme your phone.”</p><p>Geralt isn’t quite sure why he does it, but he unlocks his phone and hands it over.</p><p>Jaskier smiles, tapping away as they step out of the bar.</p><p>“Text me,” Jaskier instructs, handing Geralt his phone back. “Let me know you got home safe, ‘kay?” He sounds concerned—as if Geralt was the one who needed to be saved tonight. Geralt nods, feeling strangely touched by the concern, as Jaskier slips into one of the waiting cabs.</p><p>Geralt watches as it pulls away and then looks down to see the new contact in his phone—he snorts at the note under Jaskier’s name: <em> fake (???) boyfriend. </em></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This was originally for a fake-dating prompt for Geraskier fun day (maybe?) but I completely forgot to post it then so now its just an excuse to think about one of my all time favorite <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pwHW9E3_a1w">TV moments</a>.<br/>Title is from the song "The Ruse &amp; The Caper" by Coyote Theory</p><p>Come say hi on <a href="https://hirikka.tumblr.com/">Tumblr</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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